i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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