I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
