I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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