You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
