ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
