I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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