the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize