I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
