Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
