He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
