It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
