just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
