I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
NoShamevember. You game?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i've created a new STD.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
