I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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