I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
