I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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