well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize
