Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize