this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
