Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
