She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
