I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
