Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
