going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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