so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
