He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
