she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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