you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
