speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my sisters under your porch take her home
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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