did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
