she looked like the before picture.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
