if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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