You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
