The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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