Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
