Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
