Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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