Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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