you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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