i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
