I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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