She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
