I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
soo... how was my night?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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