Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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