Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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