it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
