Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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