So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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