Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
