Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
