I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
