dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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