i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
