Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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