At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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