Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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