Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
