She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
