Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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