Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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