Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
