"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
