ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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