I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
