I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
