if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
