His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
