i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
