Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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