So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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