Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
