Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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