So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
