you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
